55 Years

The Way it Was

     It all started on May 24, 1957 when I had my first date with Ronny Brown from Columbia, Tennessee.   It was my birthday and the only reason I went with him was because I didn’t have another date and it was my birthday!   A week earlier, a friend of mine at Lipscomb University, asked Ron to try to sell a rocking chair for her.  He was working in the bookstore and as the school year was ending, she wanted to get rid of a rocking chair she bought from someone going around with a truckload of rocking chairs early in the school year.  When she ask him to put the rocking chair in the bookstore to sell it, he commented, “Sell it to that girl you run around with.  She looks like she’s about ready for a rocking chair.”  When he called to ask me for a date I reminded him of what he said about me.  I was irritated that someone would make that kind of remark about me.  He laughed and said he was just joking.  After we talked a while, I accepted his invitation because he said he wanted to take me to Cross Key’s Restaurant for dinner and it was my birthday!    Cross Key’s was a very good and expensive seafood restaurant and no college boys ever offered to take a girl there. 

     We enjoyed the time together and at the end of the evening, he asked me out for the next night.   I already had a date so he suggested we go to the Nashville airport on Saturday and he’d treat me to a tour over Nashville.  He was not the pilot!   It was a fun experience and then he asked me to Centennial Park to an outdoor concert on Sunday afternoon.   We were together every night after that for the next two weeks. 

      We were studying for final exams and the girls could not leave the dorm after 10 p.m.   My friends decided they wanted a pizza but no one delivered pizzas in 1957.   The other girls started chiding me that I could call Ronny to go get us one. They reminded me that I had said he was nice and if he was that nice he would do it for us.  He lived off campus with Ken Davis (who is now an elder at Wood Avenue in Florence, Alabama).  I had been taught never to call a boy but I finally gave in from the pressure.  We had our money ready to pay for it when he brought it to the door of our dorm.  They all agreed that he really was nice.  My friends were all impressed.  They said their boyfriends would never have done that for them.   They began to tease me that I was in love but I denied it for having known him for less than two weeks.

       The school year ended and my brother, Leon, came to get me to take me back home to Oxford, Mississippi, for the summer.  Ronny left to serve six months active duty in the U.S. Army.   He asked me to take his class ring and write him.   We wrote every day until he got a leave in August.  He called me every Saturday night.   I told my mother he waited until 8 p.m. to call to be sure I wasn’t on a date.   Anytime boys called me, she’d give me a sharp look that would have pierced anyone’s heart.  She said I’d have to send his ring back if I went out with anyone.  I kept his ring and didn’t go with anyone.

       Ron was different.  He was nicer than almost anyone I had dated.  We enjoyed being with each other and after 55 years together, we still do.  He was ambitious and hard-working.  I didn’t want a lazy guy.  I didn’t mind working hard myself but I didn’t want to be the only one in the family doing it.  He was a dedicated Christian so he didn’t smoke or drink.  He had the best list of good qualities of anyone I had ever dated.   I thought I’d be a fool to let him go.   Even though we’ve had a lot of rough times, I still think that.  I don’t think you can get through life without some rough times regardless of who you marry.  I know a lot of people who’ve had it much harder than us so I’m thankful we have weathered the storm.    There may have been a lot of wind and rough seas along the way but the boat is still intact!

       When Ron returned to Oxford, Mississippi in August to see me, he began talking about where we’d live.  He didn’t really propose but just kept beating around the bush.  I got the message regarding his intentions.  I decided not to return to Lipscomb but keep the job I had so I could save money.   My brother, Billy, kept telling me that if I wanted to return to school, I did not need to worry about money.  He would help me with the tuition.  I had gone to school the previous year on my part of my inheritance after my father’s death.  He died before I was 4 years old but the money had been saved for my education.

      When Ron came to visit me for Christmas (December, 1957), he brought me an engagement ring.  We talked about waiting for summer to get married.  He was out of the U.S. Army active duty and beginning his Reserve status and enrolling in Lipscomb University in January, 1958.   My job at Ole Miss (University of Mississippi) ended at the end of February but I didn’t know at that time how long I could work.  I had been filling in for a girl having a baby.  She decided she was ready to return to work.   With this new turn of events, we decided we might as well get married on spring break so the date was set for March 15, 1958.

      Sometime in between these times, Ron came down and took me to Columbia, TN for a weekend to meet his family.   Gayle, two years younger, threatened to let the chickens out so they could roost on the front steps while I was there.  Ned was also at home.  He was two years younger than Gayle (much quieter) and probably a senior in high school at that time.  Ron’s mother and Dad were very kind and sweet and I had a nice time.   In the spring, Ron’s mother had to sign for him to get married.  In Mississippi, the boy was supposed to be 21 and the girl 18 to get a marriage license.  Ron would not be 21 until June 29^th so his Mom signed the document.  She and I loved each other all the years so I don’t think she ever regretted it.

        We married in the preacher’s study at the church building in Oxford, Mississippi.  My mother said it was too hard for her to go to the wedding but she wanted to prepare lunch for all of us that day.   My two brothers and their wives were present and a couple we knew stood with us to be our maid of honor and best man.  It was short and sweet and then we went to Mother’s for lunch.   After lunch, we left for Nashville, TN.  

       Ron rented an apartment in the rear of a church member.   It was a garage apartment but very cute.  There were no curtains so I remember spending a few days that first week, sewing curtains and a couch cover by hand.  Ron was campus policeman in those early days of our marriage.  I quickly got a job at AVCO Corporation as a secretary to a member of the church.   We didn’t see each other very much.  He was on duty until about 1 a.m. and was still sleeping when I left for work at 7:00 a.m.   He would attend classes during the day and go back on duty at night.

      Mother told me later that she liked Ron but thought we would starve.   She just didn’t know how hard-working we were.   I took off work about six months after Leigh Ann was born in 1960 and a couple of months after Ronald was born in 1964 but I worked all the rest of the time.   (There was a little time I could not work in St. Bart, French West Indies.  We were missionaries on that island during the years 1989-1991).  But, to keep busy, I baked goods to sell to the public and no matter how much I baked, it was all sold daily at a little market nearby. 

      That’s the way it was when I met Ronny Brown.  I’d have to write an entire book to tell about all the years in between 1958 – 2013 (55 years later).  This was our anniversary dinner.